MENC member Gary Mortenson shares various “situations for discussion” with his music education students to highlight the challenges they may face. This way, they can formulate their opinions before they face difficult situations. 

Teacher-Parent Relationships

“Music educators, in particular, often work closely with parents in booster organizations, coordinating them when they serve as chaperons on trips and interacting with them after concerts, sporting events, and contests. Communicating effectively with parents is critical in soliciting their support,” says Mortenson.

“Working with well-meaning parents often requires tact and extra communication skills,” says Mortenson.

How would you react to the following hypothetical scenarios?

Scenario #1

An active parent in your booster organization is causing dissent, coming across to other parents as dictatorial. Several parents express their desire to help with fund-raising, but hesitate to become involved because of the bossy nature of this strong-willed individual. You appreciate this person’s work ethic, but are concerned about the effects this controversy is having on the other parents.  What do you do?

Scenario #2

You’ve just completed fund-raising for new uniforms. Your monetary goal was largely met through the efforts of one generous parent, who had a lot of connections and helped solicit the support of many merchants in town. Just as you're about to place the order, this parent asks you to consider changing the uniform style. The donor’s ideas clash with yours on the basic design of the uniform. You don’t want to seem ungrateful for the help and support received, but you believe that your selection will serve the group better. The benefactor has further complicated the situation by getting several of the major donors to back his or her wishes. What can you do to keep this important decision in your control? How could this situation have been avoided?

Share your thoughts about these scenarios on the future teacher forum or e-mail your responses to Shauna Leavitt.

Read What Would You Do? Part 1, which focuses on teacher-student relationships.
Read What Would You Do? Part 2, which focuses on teacher-parent relationships.

Stay tuned for Part 3 that shares other scenarios about handling criticism. 

Gary C. Mortenson is professor of trumpet and head of the music department at Kansas State University in Manhattan, Kansas. He also serves as publications editor and as a member of the Board of Directors for the International Trumpet Guild.

This article is adapted from “Reality 101,” by Gary C. Mortenson in Music Educators Journal (December 1991): 45-49

--Shauna Leavitt, October 21, 2009, © MENC: The National Association for Music Education