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After rehearsing a section of music with a specific group of instruments, I wanted the Jr. High band to start at letter "F."  I said "OK, F, everybody."

I didn't say this, but my 5th grade student did...

We warm up with a rhythm exercise each week in lesson, and I periodically give kids new rhythm sheets when we've finished all the rhythms on the old one.  This particular rhythm sheet was tough for one of my students, who was a bright, sweet, adorable child.  She looked at me with a plaintive look and MEANT to say "I really hate this rhythm sheet."  What actually came out was "I really hate this rhythm sh!t."  Well, you could have heard a pin drop.  When she realized what she said, her hand flew to her mouth and she turned an amazing shade of dark red. Her horrified expression was priceless.   All I could think of was "Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh!"

I just downplayed the event and moved on, but it's still one of my favorite stories.

A first or second grader during general music class.  We're moving on to the next activity.  He's standing there grabbing at his waist, telling us, wait wait, my pen is stuck.  There was another adult in the room and I know we were both thinking the same thing.  He had a pen in his pants pocket and that was stuck.

I tend to say things and then wonder why the kids are laughing.  This one I caught as the words were coming out of my mouth.  It was a hot, humid day.  Kids come back in from outside gym class, faces red, covered in sweat.  Yuck.  Girls walk in first.  What do I say?  "Wow!  You girls  look hot!"

Another time, I was focusing on breathing and posture.  "Sit up, straight and tall, but relaxed."  What do they hear?  "Sit up, straight and tall, butt relaxed."

Just recently, while trying to convince students that every part is important and it really doesn't matter which part you're on.  You might play a first part, you might play a third part, etc.  What do I say?  "I think I've done every position in the band room at one time or another."  That didn't sink in right away.

Last edited by Bob (2008-10-07 12:52:21)

Here's a chorus teacher butting in...

We were working on diction, and they needed a quick reminder of once concept we covered, so I shouted out,

"I need more f in fun!"

I was working with one group of instruments and I could tell the rest of the band was getting impatient.  So I looked their way and said, "I'll be with you in a few secs," meaning a few seconds--my brain tried to abbreviate the word "seconds" in order to save time.  Of course, it came out sounding like I'd said "sex" and everyone broke up.

For fun, I tend to call the flute section "fluties."  One day one of the girls raised her hand and said with a smile, "If the flutes are the fluties, what are the horns?"

Once I was trying to figure out how to signal the band to stop repeating a section of Pomp and Circumstance and go on during graduation ceremonies.  I decided to do it by raising my index finger.  So I said,  "Go on when I give you the finger."

Another time one of my middle-school flute players was having difficulty playing a note.  I examined her flute and said "I think it's a leaky pad."  Suddenly she and her fellow female flute players started giggling.  It took me a second to figure out why and then another second to realize it was best not to say anything else.

I don't know if it's such an age thing or brain fart, but my dad's rehearsals would often put the whole trombone section to the floor (yep, I'm one of 'em) when he'd say "watch me when I beat off", or "I'm standing up here the whole hour with my stick in my hand but nobody seems to notice", etc.  Of course, everyone has blurted out the "go to H" when refering to the starting spot of some aged orchestration.

He knew it, we knew it then, we know it now, kids have always known it - and we go on.  Smile!

Last edited by John (2008-10-08 19:55:46)

I love this topic and I will read it every so often do brighten my day.

My all-time favorite:

On days that we have pep band we always take 15 minutes or so to run through tunes during rehearsal.  Towards the end of the year things get a little tedious, so we change it up by playing the tunes at different speeds.  Wanting them to be able to hold a slower tempo on a tune instead of justing doing everything fast, I blurted out "Gimmee Some Lovin', extra slow".  Good god did I turn red.

I have slipped and said a few of these.

While student teaching I was talking about phrasing and mentioned "getting to the climax" or something similar.  Realizing what I had said, I quickly said "or high point" then acknowledged their giggles and told them they knew what I meant and moved on... didn't get razzed as much as I thought I would have.

In band rehearsal we often sing through the scales and then play them to try to improve intonation.
So, one time I said, "Ok, now sing Do." Then, "Now play Do." I guess middle schoolers still use playdough. :)

We were talking about intonation one day...

"When in doubt, pull out!"

From a choir perspective:

- Let's start with the baritone part......now let's add the sopranos on top of that.....